If a survey be done on why most hearts break worldwide , I think one cause that will really stand out is that the things (gestures, smiles and SMSes) a girl did out of sheer formality , guy took as liking (or love for that matter . Guys are impatient they don't want to be stuck in this Like zone for long :)). Blame it on guy's impulse to assume exclusivity.How on earth does a sweet gesture guarantee thats its not done for every fourth person she meets .The key here is the key is number of encounter of that person ,( here again my half life funda comes into play ), it being guy's first time and her fifth , she is 4 times more in control than him. This exposure difference is so typical when good colleges are doomed to be girl minority :(
Poor guy hoping his kite of romance will fly with this romantic (every wave from the girl one likes is romantic :)) wave . not to be...... this is one situation where even the Law of Averages fails him .For the uninitiated Law of Averages says that after 3 consecutive hundreds a Tendulkar will be out cheaply, never mind the form or the confidence level . its when the law catches up with him . similarly a Harbhajan ,after a series of single digit scores , will contribute substantially .Anyways The poor guy thought he has outpersevered his bad luck and spends hours thinking rehearsing, re-rehearsing the things he would say to her , just to get her smile ,just one smile exclusively for him, the smile that would wipe out all the unpleasantness from his trackrecord .But thats when reality stikes , he finds the girl , his girl , showing the same warmth to some body else . thats when a sense of Betrayal strikes him ,how can she ....why couldn't she talk to him formally , why didn't she discuss the issue with a female colleague in the first place .All girls are the same , inse to bat karna bekar hai, akhir main dil toot hi jata hai .
Heavy hearted the guy comes back deletes all the SMSes from her which he once cherished (which he used as mood enchancers ) , thinks of deleting her from his facebook friendlist but a second thought tells him he wouldn't be able to see her pics once he does that. may be she deserves a second chance . may be it was real urgent stuff she was talking, may be she knows him from a long time , may be he is just a friend , may be , may be.....
The girl on the other hand , completely in oblivion of what this guy is thinking ,has her career as a sole priority and has drawn clear cut lines for social conduct. she will smlile to the silliest of jokes when in a group but in a one to one conversation, will be a little serious with a guy without compromising on warmth.she would just not react to anything that is remotely romantic or ahead of the situation .
and so it goes on ,the characters remain the same . the actors change .................
Poor guy hoping his kite of romance will fly with this romantic (every wave from the girl one likes is romantic :)) wave . not to be...... this is one situation where even the Law of Averages fails him .For the uninitiated Law of Averages says that after 3 consecutive hundreds a Tendulkar will be out cheaply, never mind the form or the confidence level . its when the law catches up with him . similarly a Harbhajan ,after a series of single digit scores , will contribute substantially .Anyways The poor guy thought he has outpersevered his bad luck and spends hours thinking rehearsing, re-rehearsing the things he would say to her , just to get her smile ,just one smile exclusively for him, the smile that would wipe out all the unpleasantness from his trackrecord .But thats when reality stikes , he finds the girl , his girl , showing the same warmth to some body else . thats when a sense of Betrayal strikes him ,how can she ....why couldn't she talk to him formally , why didn't she discuss the issue with a female colleague in the first place .All girls are the same , inse to bat karna bekar hai, akhir main dil toot hi jata hai .
Heavy hearted the guy comes back deletes all the SMSes from her which he once cherished (which he used as mood enchancers ) , thinks of deleting her from his facebook friendlist but a second thought tells him he wouldn't be able to see her pics once he does that. may be she deserves a second chance . may be it was real urgent stuff she was talking, may be she knows him from a long time , may be he is just a friend , may be , may be.....
The girl on the other hand , completely in oblivion of what this guy is thinking ,has her career as a sole priority and has drawn clear cut lines for social conduct. she will smlile to the silliest of jokes when in a group but in a one to one conversation, will be a little serious with a guy without compromising on warmth.she would just not react to anything that is remotely romantic or ahead of the situation .
and so it goes on ,the characters remain the same . the actors change .................
Yep man..well said..
ReplyDeleteTO add to it. when you are with her again even for a very short time or even when you see her ..you feel that something is going to be good today...sometimes we() even start relating her to the good things that might have happened during that minute..that hour..that day..that month ....
All the priorities change and an effort is made to accomodate her into it when she doesn't have a clue about anything...
BUT the good part comes when you fall again for the same thing with another girl after realising that the previous one just not that way....
still hoping for something to happen soon.....
vary true bro......i think boys has to changed their mental level..bcoz no one can change the gals thinking.....:P:P:P:P
ReplyDeleteI am in complete non-agreement with this post, I know girls are more in control as far as emotions are concerned and it is ostensibly so. But that in no way mean that girls are devoid of emotions.
ReplyDeletei liked ur law of averages anology...bt i must say that this law of averages becomes leaner if u hav a village girl in ur heart..nd u r contemplating her smile to be a genuine 1
ReplyDeleteWelll... M nt tht experienced.... In dis field bt ya to a certain extent i agree wid ur thoughts vipul.
ReplyDeleteBhai tune experience kiya hai to sahi hi kiya hoga,mujhe is baare me koi idea nahi hai isliye kuchh bhi kahna jyadti hogi. :)
ReplyDeleteTheories and views that we form come out of the experiences that we share in life and people's behaviour whom we feel closely for. We tend to generalise things and have tendency to connect our experiences. But we seldom feel that there is no way in which we can generalise things by merely interacting with a quantum of people when there are many more quantums lying unexplored.
ReplyDeleteWe meet individuals and they behave differently. The people or to be precise the girls, you met with form only few % of all. I am not trying to prove you wrong but i just want to convey that every other Girl is not as smart as you portrayed and every other guy is not as Devdas as you depicted. :)
Yes, Girls control their emotions but its not only due to the number of interactions with opposite sex but there are many more factors contributing to it. For example, a girl wants to be exclusive and the only way to check this exclusiveness is not to show the cards. Even if she is in her first encounter, she will be in more or less similar control as a girl in her 4th encounter.
Yes, Girls are career oriented but in no way dumb or oblivious of guy's feelings. They know what you are upto.
All the theories and concepts you are formulating are just applicable to the exclusive public that you have dealt with upto now. The So called Intellectual Janta.
A refreshing read!
ReplyDelete@ manish absolutely .. thats exactly what i mean when i said characters remain the same , feelings reamain the person involved changes. :) so never undermine the role of circumstances , may be the person is not as good as he seems to us in that frame of mind :)
ReplyDelete@ Abhishek. i am glad you could relate to it :). yes guys need to know the girl a little more before emotionally investing ;)
ReplyDelete@Ravs i am glad you gave your honest opinion. but i never said girls are devoid of emotions. i was talking of the case when the guy has extrapolated formality for feelings which happens so often. and there is nothing wrong in being unaware, more so when she hasn't shown any extra warmth to one person
ReplyDelete@ Saurabh thanks man :) but village girl ? ;) just to get the law of averages to be 'linear' ?
ReplyDelete@ Anand.I am glad you agree to my thoughts, never mind 'to an extent ' ;).but experienced ? even i am not .nor does experience help when everybody is so exclusive so different... here i have just tried to club the 'common minimum 'traits' :)
ReplyDelete@ Vijay .i really appreciate your 'factualness' but i never said its my experience. i wasn't the protagonist here ;).But this happens frequently enough to find a place in my blog :)
ReplyDelete@ Vivek . well said mate. but on my blog only i am allowed to give 'gyan' ;) just kidding :) and i never claimed exhaustiveness;).purely because its not possible in the real world ,without taking too many assumptions.
ReplyDelete@its.now.or.never really glad u liked it . my first 'anonymous' appreciation or is it ?:)
ReplyDeletethanks anyways :)
Anyways You know I appreciate your deep thinking abilities and i know almost half of the things that you have written came from your experiences. Still we need a mind to correlate all those threads and thats where you take the edge from everybody else.
ReplyDeleteYou are always so nice to hear...
@ Vivek thank u so much for such kind words. :) deep thinking abilities ;) oh god..:) all i can say is i try to observe and not just see :). talking of experiences being mine ,i think it has more to do with post-event discussions with close friends like you that something meaningful evolved, irrespective of whose experience it was: )
ReplyDeleteWhen a person assumes too much, each assumption may chain each other up to create a big web of illusions.
ReplyDeleteone can see all your blog entries are coming straight from the heart and are not some eventful stories but they focus on the turmoil within during a certain period...its always difficult to express these sort of things,its gr8 you can do tht...keep them coming!
ReplyDelete@mrinal yes i am the Illusionist ;)i use assumptions to mould facts to suit my theories ;)
ReplyDeletejust kidding :)and please elaborate the meaning of "chain each other up " i took the contextual meaning as couldn't comprehend the literal one :)
@ Sankalp thanks for the kind words .yes i do feel strongly about the things i write on .I try to observe and not just see even while going through an emotional "high". hope you can relate to/like my future posts too :)
ReplyDeletewell, that shows early phase of life.
ReplyDeleteonce you get to know how life treats you, its easy to understand 'signs'.
Think about the perspective of Girls, as 99 out of 100, they talk will think they are in love with them. Cant happen, right?
on the other hand, for a guy, being lil not-so-emotional is key of survival. Believe me !
true..but knowing all that beforehand too, guy will not stop chasing her..that iota hope remains enlightened!
ReplyDeleteThe behavior of a guy, when he finds that his girl talks to somebody else too, brings out another shallow thinking that guys do. They presume often and presume heavily.
ReplyDeleteThey have a world and in that world they want everybody. Everybody including friends, family and everyone in their life irrespective of sex. Be it a male or female.
They take that as normal and yes it is. But they dont want that normalness around their girl. They are possesive. They want their girl to talk to any female creature on this earth but when it comes to males, she should talk to him only....
Thats where that feeling of so called Betrayal comes.
Chill Man!!!!! Give the girl a life too....
nice...post..!!
ReplyDelete@ Rajesh .sir thanks for your input. Very true. Experience is the only way out. It teaches both ,to read signs better and not to get over emotional.
ReplyDelete@ Vibs .Agreed prior knowledge doesn't prevent the guy from trying but it does help him to prepare for the worst case scenario.And not loosing hope (completely) is intrinsic part of human nature.thats why i said that the story goes on.
ReplyDelete@ Vivek I am giving girls all the life they need. I never said the girl is to blame, not till the time she is coherent in her behavior. There is nothing wrong in being oblivious unless your actions betray your attitude.The other person cant read your mind he has to 'assume' what you do is what you feel.
ReplyDelete@ Utsav thanks man :)
ReplyDeleteDis was just too good man! :D
ReplyDeletejst too good.. kudos! i write too..(but dont blog.. so dont ask for my link) :D n dis is 4m one writer to another.. u hv captured the essence of it prefectly! a few details here and there and this i believe wud hv been ur masterpiece! :D
keep rockin man!