Is love really spontaneous and all encompassing ?

Doesn't our liking stop (or at least mitigate) for a person on knowing she (or he) is married or committed? Isn't it socially ‘obvious’ not to like a married girl? So if we can stop the feeling surely we can Initiate or ‘feel’ out of will.

Can't love be induced in a person by continuously talking about his crush? Can’t facts be distorted by fun-seeking friends to make him believe its love?

Didn't we all blow our first crush out of proportions by disclosing it to a roommate or a close friend? The next time he would meet, he would tease us in that context and we would presume that nice and funny feeling to be love.

Now going from the extreme to the ridiculous (for some who are deep sunk in this feeling currently)

Isn't there something called Love-on-rebound which is always a non- zero factor while ‘moving on’ to our next. It essentially is over-hyping the trait we missed so dearly in our Ex. So we compromised on other factors because we couldn't help comparing every time we thought about the issue. If it’s so predictable then sure enough a cynic like me is allowed to say it’s ‘need-born’.

How many love stories start from favors, which in the heat of the moment are taken as signs of genuineness. Because we were in the frame of mind of falling in love that favors seem as love, sorry ‘True love’.

Isn't it predictable to guess the crush of a shy boy as the extrovert 'social attraction of the room' bubbly girl? Aren't our crushes an embodiment of traits most of which are copy of ours and rest what we picked from people we admire all the way till now?

Don't anti-love waves engross us if we get a Supplementary in exam or miss a selection or are left behind the one, we hate to be overtaken by? Worse still as somebody in a 'Motivational' Workshop suggested "All love stories end when the girl gets into an MDI and the boy misses a cut-off”. To take it one step further, he missed the sectional cut-off because he was so busy explaining his strong subject to her (and basking in that glory) that he didn't balance his preparation.

Aren't all break-ups triggered by a small misunderstanding and fueled  by the feeling “if you care less ,I care lesser “

It all boils down to this - It’s only because we undermine the role of circumstances in what we felt great (the all so heavenly Love), that reality hits us hard later. More often than not "U have changed" is not true, it’s just that the circumstances have become less favorable and thereof our patience and enthusiasm has dipped. It’s because we ignored the implicit feasibility that helped love to be what it was, that we blanketly overhyped it and thought it to be all encompassing and later expectedly, hate it blanketly. May be, it’s because we crave to say the sweet romantic things to somebody someday (because of all the Romantic movies we have watched) that we end up saying things we hardly mean. To be fair to us we were just following the social protocols, we can’t just say “I find you interesting , I want to know more about you “ when everyone else is saying “I like you “ at the same level of acquaintance .The other person (especially if happens to be a girl) would assume it be avoiding commitment from the very beginning or worse still ‘lack of guts’

P.S.  Never mind asking me ‘Has something happened?’ I am neither coming of a bad experience nor a loser in love, Thank you.

I fanatically believed in ability but this world toned me down

Didn't we all, as kids were staunch believers in Hard work or Age. We thought (or were made to believe) that with  age(and following guidelines ) we would be able to do anything /everything. How we wished to do one day what our elders had the luxury of doing that time. I for  one (born arrogant that i  am ) backed myself to optimize not just copy. I, for the life of me, could not understand why on earth is the individual not doing it the optimized way. Is he not bright enough to figure that out, Does he really want to optimize that in the first place?

 Reaching the teenage we realized there is something called Talent which discriminates between two equally hard working individuals .Which explained why some people were fast learners than others. We also learnt  to blame it on (lack of ) interest for us not being good at something.Which may not be untrue in most cases but I personally think interest is not just black or white, its all gray. In a way we 'like' what we are good at. Say if someone is the mathematics-bond in his class but on changing the school he finds himself lost between similarly bright mates, chances are his interest will go down. Unless for the rare case, he takes it sportingly and  becomes Zealous from jealous. If even after 2-3 attempts he couldn't redeem himself then sure enough, his 'liking '  would go down. So in a way he just liked the appreciation associated with Maths and not exactly the subject.

Before the end of teenage, we accepted even two equally talented and hard working  individuals can have different outputs.There are other factors too that contribute which (sadly) are becoming important by the day. There is the Upbringing difference which has an important role. Life asked each of different questions and depending upon the responses we are what we are. We are expert in different things  because we had exposure in different things. But surely which of these exposure can be 'cashed' is beyond our control.

There after we stopped realizing.We became acceptors. Reality took its toll. We accepted once and for all, that our contribution to the output only increases our chances for success.There is no direct correlation between effort and results, forget a guarantee. So we had to put blinkers on our eyes lest we choke with frustration .

Entering into the corporate world we woke to the fact that even same outcome can have different interpretations. People will escalate only your negatives and positives will be trifled of. So we were really tempted to join in. Tempted to accept that Life flows in 'streamlined' manner in Corporate world. Every one passes through same point (receiving end of politics ) with same velocity (reaction) before changing ends.

May be a decade or two later, we will realize there is no such thing as 'success' its only peace of mind and health that matter.

Girl's formality guy's Love

If a survey be done on why most hearts break worldwide , I think one cause that will really stand out is that the things (gestures, smiles and SMSes) a girl did out of sheer formality , guy took as liking  (or love for that matter . Guys are impatient they don't want to be stuck in this Like zone for long :)). Blame it on guy's impulse to assume exclusivity.How on earth does a sweet gesture guarantee thats its not done for every fourth person she meets .The key here is the key is  number of encounter of that person ,( here again my half life funda comes into play ), it being guy's first time  and her fifth , she is 4 times more in control than him. This exposure difference is so typical when good colleges are doomed to be girl minority :(

Poor guy  hoping his kite of romance will fly with this romantic (every wave from the girl one likes  is romantic :)) wave . not to be...... this is one situation where even the Law of Averages fails him .For the uninitiated Law of Averages says that after 3 consecutive hundreds a Tendulkar will be out cheaply, never mind the form or the confidence level . its when the law catches up with him . similarly a Harbhajan ,after a series of single digit scores , will contribute substantially  .Anyways The poor guy thought he has outpersevered his bad luck and spends hours thinking rehearsing, re-rehearsing  the things he would say to her , just to get her smile ,just one smile exclusively for him, the smile that would wipe out all the unpleasantness  from his trackrecord .But thats when reality stikes , he finds the girl , his girl , showing the same warmth to some body else . thats when a sense of Betrayal strikes him ,how can she ....why couldn't she talk to him formally , why didn't she discuss the issue with  a female colleague in the first place .All girls are the same , inse to bat karna bekar hai, akhir main dil toot hi jata hai .

Heavy hearted the guy comes back  deletes all the SMSes from her which he once cherished (which he used as mood enchancers ) , thinks of deleting her from his facebook friendlist but a second thought tells him he wouldn't be able to see her pics once he does that. may be she deserves a second chance . may be it was real urgent stuff she was talking, may be she knows him from a long time , may be he is just a friend , may be , may be.....

The girl on the other hand , completely in oblivion of what this guy is thinking ,has her career as a sole  priority and has drawn clear cut lines for social conduct. she will smlile to the silliest of jokes when in a group but in a one to one conversation, will be a little serious with a guy without compromising on warmth.she would just  not react to anything that is remotely romantic or ahead of the situation .
and so it goes on ,the characters remain the same . the actors change .................